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Tipping port-a-potties over: pretty funny, right? Like, scale of 1 to 10: maybe a 5 or 6. It's pretty random dumbassery, anyway. It just loses points because a) it's smelly when it's right in front of your house and b) some poor dude has to clean it up the next morning.
So unfortunately, me yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" at the four immaculately dressed indie-cool stoner kids who tipped over the honeypot in the middle of the street construction in front of my house last night was kind of a harsh on their buzz. Oh, they fucking ran down the street, the little jerks. Straight out of sight, limbs gangling. Even when the other guy who watched them do it called to them to stop and clean it up (optimist that he is), they just kept running.
And yeah, I gave them a head start. Probably a good ten minutes as me and my dad examined the damage and the little river of poo leaking out.
But then I put my similarly-aged sister in the car and caught up with them. And she recognized them, knew a few of their names. Specifically, that one little hottie who'd been making sympathetic noises to the tall blonde kid that had been swearing up a shitstorm over his cracked fingernail in the street. The very bitching, in fact, that called me out onto the patio to watch them rock the shithouse down. "Don't fucking touch it, fuck!" he'd snarled at her. And she'd backed off, chastised, but still patient for her chance to get in his pants.
So as I buzzed by them in my car a second time, I gave them the shark eye and the bird and then went home and called the girl's father, who happens to be last year's winner of Canmore Idol, and a mural painter in town. His response: "Ah, shit."
I like to imagine that I have single-handedly alerted this man to his daughter's wayfaring habits, and perhaps rekindled a latent bond between them that will prevent her from continuing to hang out with such bitchy little destructive momma's boys, and perhaps keep her self-respect intact for a few more years.
Regardless, who is the cold hand of vengeance in this town? I AM. THAT'S RIGHT. GIVE ME A BADGE OR SOMETHING.
Although, I'm still waiting to get the little twelve year old shits down the street who threw snowballs at my car and then ran right back into their own house afterwards. I have an eye out for you suckers. O.O
So unfortunately, me yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" at the four immaculately dressed indie-cool stoner kids who tipped over the honeypot in the middle of the street construction in front of my house last night was kind of a harsh on their buzz. Oh, they fucking ran down the street, the little jerks. Straight out of sight, limbs gangling. Even when the other guy who watched them do it called to them to stop and clean it up (optimist that he is), they just kept running.
And yeah, I gave them a head start. Probably a good ten minutes as me and my dad examined the damage and the little river of poo leaking out.
But then I put my similarly-aged sister in the car and caught up with them. And she recognized them, knew a few of their names. Specifically, that one little hottie who'd been making sympathetic noises to the tall blonde kid that had been swearing up a shitstorm over his cracked fingernail in the street. The very bitching, in fact, that called me out onto the patio to watch them rock the shithouse down. "Don't fucking touch it, fuck!" he'd snarled at her. And she'd backed off, chastised, but still patient for her chance to get in his pants.
So as I buzzed by them in my car a second time, I gave them the shark eye and the bird and then went home and called the girl's father, who happens to be last year's winner of Canmore Idol, and a mural painter in town. His response: "Ah, shit."
I like to imagine that I have single-handedly alerted this man to his daughter's wayfaring habits, and perhaps rekindled a latent bond between them that will prevent her from continuing to hang out with such bitchy little destructive momma's boys, and perhaps keep her self-respect intact for a few more years.
Regardless, who is the cold hand of vengeance in this town? I AM. THAT'S RIGHT. GIVE ME A BADGE OR SOMETHING.
Although, I'm still waiting to get the little twelve year old shits down the street who threw snowballs at my car and then ran right back into their own house afterwards. I have an eye out for you suckers. O.O
